New Year's Resolution

Many people seem to have a big thing for this so-called new year's resolution. Many like to have at least one. But very often, it proves to be far too ambitious to be achieved, just a dream or more like people simply talk about it but never put in any effort to try to achieve their goals. But still, that hasn't stopped people from making a new year's resolution, year after year. It's been like a tradition to many.

I have never made a new year's resolution before. Do i intend to make one this year ? Yes. I do. As a matter of fact, i am going to make two and this is going to be my first. Well, there goes my virginity ... LOL !

The first one is that i seriously have to stop planning things. I noticed that no good can come from planned things, not for me at least. Every one of them always go awry.

The second thing is that i need to stop having visions. Visions as in the kind entrepreneurs or those really ambitious guys always have. Visions do not work well for me either.

Barely 10 years ago everything looked so good. Okay, missing school is not a new thing for me. I was absent from school for two straight years in Primary 5 and Primary 6 but still i aced the exam and i did not even have a plan then. Most of my friends were like : "i want six As", "i want seven As" etc. and majority of them already knew which school they wanted to go to and i was like this idiot with no will to fight for a bigger slice of pie or a plan of some sort.

Then in Form 1 and Form 2, my grades were good and i became more and more ambitious. It was kind of hard for me not to be ambitious then as i was constantly surrounded by these lions that want to eat you alive. So in order to protect myself from becoming irrelevant in this very competitive class, i too became very ambitious and thrived. The fact that i did very well in UPSR barely two years prior was also a very big morale boost for me. By the end of the first semester in year 2002, i had 4As, 3Bs and 1C for core subjects (proof attached) and i was ranked 15th in the entire second form in the school. 15th place in the entire second form wasn't shabby at all considering the classmates i had, they were no ordinary people. Getting a straight A in the big exam the following year might not be a dream after all.

But then, next thing i remember is that i stayed in SMC for two consecutive weeks and i never returned to school that whole year. After having so many drugs injected to your body, your brain tends to process slower and the painkillers make you high. You see ? So much for having plans and visions eh ? I had plans and visions then and see how that turned out ?

Believe it or not, all the best things just kind of landed on my lap, out of nowhere. It just kind of happened.

Doing things extemporaneously is my thing. I ace it, all the time. No joke ! So from now on, there shall be no more plan, no more vision.

Just so we're clear, this isn't a boast. This is me reminding myself at the things that i once excelled at, like a morale support to me so i can get back on my feet real soon which is way overdue by the way.

Drive safe ! Happy New Year !