When a friend suddenly learns that her husband is seeking a divorce, or a lover breaks off an engagement, our heart hurts for them. We often do not know what to say. Just before returning home on Sunday to learn about the Air France plane, I was at a memorial service for a vibrant artist. The best man at her wedding gave a eulogy that made us all realize the importance of relationships, of love and marriage, kind words, and loving life to the fullest.
A Fiancée waits
Later as I read about the lost Air France plane, I saw a photo of a young woman identified as waiting for her fiancée. I felt a sense of profound sadness for her. Shortly after we heard the words of French President Nicolas Sarkozy: "(I met with) a mother who lost her son, a fiancée who lost her future husband. I told them the truth," he said. He pointed out the difficulty in finding the plane because the zone where it is believed to have disappeared "is immense."
Love and marriage
I could not stop thinking about the young woman at the airport waiting with expectation and joy for her fiancée. Will she be able to plunge ahead or will she have difficulty understanding and accepting how she went from thoughts of a wedding to thoughts of a funeral? We don’t know.
Joseph Campbell’s words from The Power of Myth seemed so poignant. He said "the real life of a marriage or a true love affair is in the relationship…two aspects of the same being.”
For all those who loose someone they love, they loose a part of themselves and grief often overwhelms.
Kind Words
If we spend our days always speaking kindly to those whom we love, we can get through life with few regrets and find a place in our heart that helps us to rebound. I often quote a philosopher who lived sometime in 400 BC:
- Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
- Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.
- Leave the rest to God.
- Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. . . .Life is about learning to dance in the rain.
Loving life to the fullest
No matter what unexpected situation one may face when love is lost, it takes time for the reality of the situation to seep in. Grief is how our body and mind responds to loss. We see in the movies and we read in books how women cope when a marriage is called off, a lover or husbands cheats and betrays, a husband asks for a divorce, a life partner meets with tragedy. In each situation who is to say which woman has the heaviest heart or how long she will grieve?. Each person goes through the process in an individual way.
As wives, mothers, lovers, girlfriends we have one responsibility really -- to stand by and just be there. And then one day, in some unexpected way, our friend or relative whose tears we shared will step out into the sunshine ready to live again, ready to love again.
**Article written by RITA WATSON
(RIP - all those victims of AF477 whose remains might never be found and the mystery of the crash may never be solved)
